Feathers Ruffled

IMG_1389      Over the last month, much time has been spent on every aspect of my blog EXCEPT writing. As some know at this point, I have a new home for my blog and a new blog name which is ipressonward.com. With little computer knowledge, I have clicked and double clicked and studied my way through this process.  I was determined not to drive my sweet husband crazy with a million questions about the particulars, though this has driven me to my wits end.  ( That OCD part of me that has to have every detail understood and in place kicked in, big time!)

I had registered for The Influence Conference for Christian bloggers, and it was my desire to have everything perfectly oiled and working by the conference date.  I had business cards made, my sight was up and running with redirects from my old site to the new one, and we arrived at Indianapolis, Indiana. Eddy was ready for some rest and relaxation and I was ready to add to my knowledge base about blogging.  Still wanting to use this blog to further God’s kingdom, I was sure I would learn the key to reaching more people.  Knowledge is power, right? (Notice that this paragraph is filled with an overabundance of the word I! Not a good thing!!)

Well, not necessarily for me!  The conference was awesome, attended by wonderful Christian women, and God was glorified through every speaker and event.  The final night ended with the most beautiful two hours of worship and praise.  Jesus was in our midst.  Yet I found myself struggling with discouragement.  I had come to the realization that all the women I was surrounded by were on the same mission.  They had a heart for the Lord, many had hundreds, even thousands of followers, and  beautifully designed websitse that far surpassed my Pain Jane site in cyberspace.   Can we say “Pity Party?” Can we say Satan!!

This week has presented me with further website kinks to work out and doubt.  Satan whispers, “What’s the use? There are so many others out there more eloquent, more established, more “followed.” I have truly have had my feathers ruffled. Pride has risen its head and suddenly all was about me and not Him.  Today I fight against that, reread some of my own posts concerning this, and I write for an audience of one, God. Today I ask him to use the words that come only from Him to reach the one it may help.  Today I let go of computer frustrations, visions of grandeur, and lack of self worth as I give back to Him what only He has given and can give me. Today I dedicate the words typed on this blog to Him.  To God be the Glory!

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