Happy Mother’s Day out there to all you moms and moms-to-be! For any gentlemen who might be reading, your day is coming next month. The beautiful flowers in this picture are from my daughter, Miriam. I was sure they were for someone else when they arrived at my work place Friday! I don’t mind saying I squealed with excitement when I found out they were for me! This is the first Mother’s Day that she hasn’t been at home since she is now all grown-up with a job in another state. Too sweet!
During the Mother’s Day sermon today, I was caught completely off guard when the tears began to flow. It all started with one of those sweet Mother’s Day videos that was played! As I dabbed at tears that were totally wreaking havoc on my make-up, I reflected on tears shed during Mother’s Day services in years past.
In my 20’s, there were tears of sadness, even anger that were shed as I sat through a church service honoring mothers when four times miscarriages swept that dream away. That was all I had ever truly wanted to be…a mother…and during those years, all hope seemed lost. My fertility doctor had dismissed me as a patient. But God had a plan!
In my 30’s and 40’s, God had blessed me with two children who arrived on the scene in His perfect timing. Yet, there the tears again from the church pew at Mother’s Day. Yes, now I was a mother, but having a son with autism brought challenges and frustration and guilt that I had not figured into my “mom experience.” I questioned my abilities constantly. I mourned the impact of autism on my son’s capabilities, the seizures that were so terrifying to watch…the injuries that resulted. Being a mom was very real and much more overwhelming than I had ever imagined. But God was faithful, providing bucketfuls of grace precisely when needed which included huge smiles from a young Miriam in pigtails which encouraged me in my darkest moments.
I am still deciphering the unexpected tears of today. This year, I believe it to be a conglomeration of things. Today, there were no children sitting beside me in church for this first time in twenty-eight years. As mentioned earlier, my daughter was unable to come home because she had to work today. My son, Ben, has refused to come to church for quite some time now. He knows that we will soon be moving into a new church building, and even the idea of that change has him completely shut down to accompanying us though we try every Sunday.
The rest of the story may lie in the fact that I have entered a new season of life, one where I am still a mom but not in an ongoing, hands-on, daily kind of way. This has been a year of the “empty nest” transition. I am having to find a new place for all that unused mom energy, advice, and interaction…the whole proverbial “cutting the apron strings.” However, there is an upside for those of you nearing this new stage. My husband and I have found a renewed joy in our relationship that has surfaced with the opportunity of quality time together which I am thoroughly enjoying!
Let me end by saying hat’s off to all you mom’s in whatever decade of life you are in with your family and children. To those of your who are still waiting, wanting so desperately to have a child, keep praying and trusting God. I do not say this in a trite way. I have been where you are and I know your pain and emptiness. But God has a plan and His timing is always best and blessed. He loves you so much. He knows your heart’s desire and uses every situation to build your faith and relationship with Him. Hebrews 4:16 states this, “So let us come boldly to the throne of our gracious God. There we will receive his mercy, and we will find grace to help us when we need it most.” Go boldly and receive His grace for these times. He will never fail you.
God bless you all and have a wonderful day! To God Be the glory!